The Authentic self

When I talk about ‘the authentic self’ I am referring to the real you. It’s who we are when we strip back our many identities or many layers of identities. When we take away our social and family conditioning. In order to be able to figure out what we want from life or what we want to achieve in life we have to figure out who we really are. Everything starts and ends with you. The power rests within each of us to achieve what we want. But we have to know what we want. And we can only know that when we know who we are.

Behind our inherited beliefs, social conditioning and how we define our own identity is our true self. As children, we learned from our parents/guardians and teachers how to understand and make sense of the world around us. We inherited beliefs from them about how they perceived and understood the world, meaning what we inherited or believe is not always true. Take the cliched example of when you grown up you have to go to college, get a qualification, then get married, get a house and have kids - roughly in that order. We’ve seen, though, in recent times that this model isn’t for everyone. Some people realise it before embarking on the journey and some people realise it somewhere along their journey, and that’s ok. It’s never too late to come to the realisation that you are living a life you thought you should and it’s never too late to figure out what you really want and to go after it!

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are.” - Carl Jung

Now, I’m not going to delve into Jung’s interpretation of the true self because we’d be here for a long time. But, what I will say is that behind our identities, whether it’s defined by our career, achievements or what someone else told us, is the real you. When I worked as a journalist my identity was so closely linked with my career that my whole sense of self-worth and value hinged on that identity. It was only when I took a step back and got my own life coach that I realised my job was not me. It didn’t define me. There was more to me than just ‘journalist’ and there was more to life than work. It was so liberating realising that my career didn’t define my worth and value in this world!

So how do we figure out who we are? It’s easy and rewarding, if you want to do the work, but it does take work.

The first step I would advise is to do a ‘life audit’. Look at everything going on in your life right now, how do you feel about it all? Be brutally honest with yourself. Evaluate and explore everything. This is where you are now. Is it where you want to be? Do you feel fulfilled? Do you want more? Do you feel like there should be more to life?

Next, figure out your values. Name them and explore whether you are actually living by these values. If you are, you are honouring yourself. If you aren’t then figure out how you can start aligning your actions with your values.

If you want to achieve change, make a plan! Then take action. Each action will take you closer to living the life your real self wants you to live.

If you’d like to know more about how coaching can help you unlock your potential by discovering your authentic self then click here to book a free consultation or email ciara@beyoucoaching.ie. I look forward to hearing from you.